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Breaking: Trump Arrested in Mexico City!!

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Okay, now I have your attention with an item that reeks of newsiness, even if it fails to be news because of the minor detail that it is untrue.  Trump hasn’t actually been arrested in Mexico City.

YET!!

My point is this, that this whole business of Trump being invited to the presidential palace to meet Pena-Nieto, and Trump accepting, makes no sense whatsoever unless that’s exactly the plan.  Trump and Pena-Nieto have agreed to this meeting as a set-up to the very public arrest of Trump, in the presidential palace.

The conventional wisdom says that Trump, who has made his mark on US politics by demonizing Mexico, and Pena-Nieto, who has compared Trump unfavorably to Hitler, are bound to behave at this meeting in ways designed to harm rather than help the other.  They’re enemies, right?

Typical superficial conventional wisdom.  Yes, Trump and Pena-Nieto are enemies.  Best of enemies.  There is nothing easier that either can do to get a reliable quick fix in popularity than to very publicly do harm to the other.  And both of them need a quick popularity fix.  Trump is behind on the polls, and Pena-Nieto is struggling as well.

It will go something like this.  Trump and Pena-Nieto meet for a while behind closed doors.  Who knows or cares what they spend the time talking about, because actual negotiation is not even remotely what this meeting is about.  After an unusually short time they storm out of the room to  the previously agreed joint presser in the presidential palace.  Pena-Nieto’s remarks are angry but restrained, just within the range of diplomatic nicety.  Then Trump launches into a tirade, insulting Mexico and Mexicans.  Nothing unusual or extreme — for Trump — but that’s extreme enough.  Pena-Nieto orders Trump arrested, and right there on international TV, Trump is cuffed, then led through the jeering and cheering crowd outside to the paddy wagon.

Wait, what crime is Trump arrested for?  Ideally, Mexico has some law against defaming the republic, or defaming ethnicities, because that’s the rationale they both want emphasized.  Formally, what he’s really charged with, the charge that is respectable, not trumped up (You see what I did there?), is something arising from his business dealings.  Of course he or his corporations have done something illegal by Mexican law.   They have surely done all sorts of things that are illegal by Mexican law.  They have done all sorts of things illegal by any law, and are protected from arrest on a daily and continuing basis only by the Golden Rule of contemporary politics, (as sound as the dollar in any country in the world, and not just the US) that “Those that have the gold make the rules.”

The political benefit to Pena-Nieto is obvious, and he’s not running for president of the US anyway, so I won’t dwell on his end of the deal.

Trump gets all sort of bennies.

Starting with the immediate and tactical, he gets out of making that speech today on the fate of the 11 million.  That was going to be tricky.  He has taken, right from the start of his campaign, the extreme hard line that the 11 million undocumented are to be summarily deported, then a wall built to keep them and any others from sneaking back in.  This ethnic cleansing solution, this Endloesung des Mexicanerfrage (It sounds so much more at home in the original German.) has really jazzed the out and out white supremacists and Hispanophobes, but that’s the problem.  The game plan for their party has been to have these Klan types vote for them, but on the down low, not with open enthusiasm, lest the low-information swing voters in the center begin to suspect that they have been voting KKK all these years.  This speech was always going to require some tricky, nuanced needle-threading, and boy, is the candidate not good at threading needles.  Poking needles in people’s eyes, sure, but threading them, not so much.  Now he get’s out of making the speech.  The campaign gets to either forego any such reconciliation (see below), or, if still thought desirable, gets to deliver the nuance in written form, ghost-written by people who do nuance, because the candidate is in custody!

From the wider, strategic, view, Trump gets a Get of Jail Free (You see what I did there.) card on Hispanophobia.   You really can’t trust them!  There really is a conspiracy, undoubtedly including Judge Curiel, to judicially lynch Trump, and all of Anglo America in his person!  The spotlight shifts from Trump Hispanophobic outrages to Mexican Trumphobia outrages, that now actually have some real-world validation.  If they can do this to a billionaire, reality TV star and presidential candidate like Trump, imagine what these dark forces could get away with doing to lesser white people like us!?!?  (Okay, insert joke whose punch line reads, “What do you mean us, pale-ass?”)

Coning back down to the tactical, the campaign finally gets to control messaging, at least for as long as Trump is incommunicado, held in durance vile in some Mexican prison.  He can issue notional missives from his cell (Think Martin Luther King.  Think Oscar Wilde.  Wait, don't think Oscar Wilde!), but only in some format that the campaign gets to ghostwrite, because those damn Mexican statist tyrants have confiscated his mobile texting device.  If they can take away a white man’s access to Twitter — not only is that an obvious violation of every conceivable human right, but it allows the campaign to stop the previously unstoppable gaffathon that their candidate has been conducting.

Depending on how the situation develops, they can control to the campaign's advantage how long Trump stays in Mexican prison, and how he is finally released.

As to timing, if they see that it’s working for them, they can keep their loose cannon in jail until right before Election Day, then have a dramatic last minute release and homecoming as their campaign finale.  He won’t have to debate!!!

As to the manner of his release, that can be calculated to maximize the benefit for the campaign.  Overall, they are going to want the Obama administration held responsible for getting him back, so that the continued failure to get him back can stand as a testament not only to the administration's overall powerlessness in dealing with pissant foreign countries that the US should rightly push around with ease, but also to reinforce the charge that the Obama-Clinton administration connived in Trump’s arrest and incarceration.

One way that Trump will surely not gain release is by way of US special operations action.  And the failure of that to happen will be pure gold to the right wing.  You see, it is an unquestioned axiom of the right wing that any American anywhere can be protected from any harm whatsoever from any mere furriner, by US special operations forces who stand at the ready to intervene anywhere in the world, at about 90 second’s notice.  This intervention of course won't happen for Trump, either at his initial arrest, or in the form of some jailbreak.  And of course the failure of some Mission Impossible rescue to take shape will be evidence, not that the whole idea is a fantasy, but that the Clinton-Obama administration doesn’t want to do what any US preznit can easily do, because that’s just how much the libtards hate America, that they would steal the election by letting some pissant country hold a presidential candidate hostage.  Footage of Trump's Secret Service detail at the moment of his arrest will be parsed for proof, 100% gold-plated proof, that a stand down order is being issued, probably by Clinton herself (Why else do you think she had that private server for official business?  So she could continue to issue stand down orders even after leaving office!!!)!

Yep, this would be so much in the interest of those who can make it happen, that of course I can break the news even before it happens, before I have any shred of evidence that it has actually happened.  I’m angling for a place at the Wingnut Welfare trough, so I’m trying to observe the same journalistic standards as my future colleagues.


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